A couple of weeks ago I was sat on the floor of my bedroom telling my mum that I didn’t think I was able to carry on.
That I couldn’t do this anymore. That I couldn’t go on living my life knowing that my mental health was always going to be this bad. I couldn’t be in a life where I was always waiting for the next low period to hit me square in the face, obliterating any kind of positivity and dragging me into the deepest of holes where I would sit and fester for weeks, maybe even months before a sparkle of light appeared showing me that an end to this episode was in sight. Yet always being firm in the knowledge that the light would disappear ready to repeat this disgusting cycle once again.
I couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t see how this could ever get better.
I wanted out.
Fast forward a few weeks and I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. And not just out of another depressive episode to the end of my poor mental health, I can actually see myself living a life free from my issues.
I feel my shoulders free from the weight I have been dragging around with me for years. I can accept that my life isn’t a Disney movie and still enjoy it. My social circle is growing again without me putting barriers in the way of people getting to know me and I’m learning to love myself. I’m not at the end of this journey but I feel so much better and I’m excited for the journey towards better mental health.
I want this post to be a message to anyone who is where I was a few weeks back.
I want you to know that if you find the right kind of help, work hard to make positive changes in your life and learn that time is a great healer you will feel better. Not for those few moments that the clouds break but forever Those clouds that permeate your wellbeing will disappear for good and you will live a life so full that going backwards into the cycle you have found yourself in now will feel unimaginable.
It will take time, tears, backward steps and a whole lot of work but you will get better, this is coming from someone who knows.
Some who has been there and is now learning how to live life to the fullest again.
I may not be one hundred percent better just yet but I will get there and so will you. I promise.
Top – H&M
Jacket – Pull & Bear
Jeans – Anita & Green (Similar Style)
Shoes – Adidas
Glasses – Quay Australia